Tuesday, February 9, 2016

Frumpy Fairfaxistas miss pussy pun fun of minxy manx and sexy rex!

There are many reasons why Fairfax is struggling. One of the main ones is that they are so drearily right-on and humourless. Their writers seem to think that their job is not so much to inform and entertain, but to attitudinally reconstruct by saying how appallingly eeevil, wrong, racist, sexist and homophobic we Aussies are.

Then there's their obsession with AGW, and how it's the root cause of almost every ill known to man... and beast. It's just such a No Fun Zone. Take this recent story with a warmist angle:
Not only is it absurd. But in typical Fairfax style the cover only half-heartedly attempts to exploit the verbal potential the story offers.

I mean, FFS. If you're gonna run such surreal BS, then at least seriously try to score a few wuckas with it. And let's face it, this is a pussy pun goldmine! Sure, they're groaners. But so what?

Here are some title suggestions, best read with this sound effect played at the end of each:

Climate cat-astrophe! Humans dread global warming but tabbies think it's purr-fect

Weather that's muggy makes moggies huggy

Feline strange? It's climate change

Cougartown. It's in your backyard

Planetary heatin' leads to Cheetoh cheatin'

Just think what the NT Daily News would do with this story, especially if there was a croc angle in it somewhere. (It'd be hard to find, sure, given that crocs are cold blooded -- something that could never be said of their staff, or readership!)



If you have any other title suggestions feel free to leave them in comments below.

3 comments:

  1. Great stuff, Matt. I tried to put a link on Tim Blair's blog but was told I couldn't.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Thanks... Maybe they've got a strict policy on links now, or it's due to the choices of particular moderators, or something. But thanks for trying that anyway.

      Delete
  2. Some of my own work. I'd like to think it scores a few wuckas.
    Yo, Fairfax. This is how it's done!
    They were coming from every direction.

    ReplyDelete