Barnett's shark mitigation plan provokes comical outrage

I knew this new, proactive approach to tackle the shark menace by the Barnett Government would upset sanctimonious nature-loving types. But I didn't expect their reactions to be so comical.

An example from this article:

Many were also affronted by Premier Colin Barnett's dismissal of the animals as just "fish''.

Eh? What, do they think they are people now? Yep, I think some of them actually do ...

And there's more tragic anthropomorphism:

The Conservation Council of WA said the "guilty until proven innocent'' approach was a kneejerk reaction to public concern that would harm the environment and would not protect swimmers.

Do they want them to be given the right to a fair trial? That will be very hard to pull off. Think of all that seawater in the court room for a start ...

And I'm really sick of people saying we should stay out of the "shark's habitat" like it's some sort of territorial issue and we humans are dispossessing them of their, er, water. (Starting to worry that maybe the Greens are dreaming up some Mabo-esque sea rights legislation right now.)

Hell, the sharks have got the entire ocean all to themselves. We just want a few narrow stretches close to the beach. How is that unreasonable?

And this idea that not every shark is a potential threat? Yeah well, maybe. But if it's a big noah and close to a popular beach, I'm all for staying on the safe side and blasting the bastard to kingdom come!

And they should videotape each gory explosion for good measure, too. I can sit back, crack open a cold one and watch it all on Youtube, then!